Warning: feel free to skip the words and look at the pictures. Just prepare to be disappointed by my pictures.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that I started this blog just to keep track (albeit in a public way) of my crafty adventures. I do not strive to earn money by blogging, nor do I try to entice random subscribers to read. This is a selfish blog. For me to track my own progress, and perhaps to allow me to connect with other crafters out in the world. I am not a professional photographer. I am not a professional writer. I am not a professional crafter. I am a mom. I need to make something, to accomplish something tangible on a daily basis, because being a stay-at-home mom is very hard.

Occasionally I get caught up in the lure of professional blogging, and therefore edit my projects, or refrain from sharing something because it is imperfect, or imperfectly photographed. But then when I try to refer back, I realize I never showed that, or worse, because it was finished last minute, and I didn’t have the “nice” camera, I never recorded it.

Tonight I made a backpack. I want one for me. A light but comfy one (ie, no laptop compartment, but yes wide padded straps), for packing a picnic lunch in, or snacks, etc when we hike about the hill. I used today’s junk mail to draw out what I wanted (after looking at pinterest and google images for inspiration first). I raided the garage for some of Grandma’s old fabric (I wound up with some kind of weird polyester/wool blend, maybe? Strong and SUPER itchy!), didn’t bother ironing it, or checking grain, (even though it’s plaid). I had 2 kids “helping” me throughout the drafting, cutting, sewing process, and it’s JUST a test. For size, for construction; A TEST.

I finished it. D won’t pose in it (even though it fits him perfectly), because it is (VERY) itchy (what can I say, I knew I would NEVER use this fabric for anything other than a tester). 

So I tried it on the bean. But she’s too tiny:

Indietute’s Toddler Backpack would be PERFECT for her. but she doesn’t actually need  a backpack
Then I took pics on the floor:

At night, with artificial light, with an iPhone.
I tried to improve things by posing the backpack on a toddler chair:
But I haven’t ironed the fabric (for the record, the lack of ironing is not ONLY laziness, but also a general fear that this gross fabric might melt and ruin my new Miracle Board ironing cover (which I love) and make me sad).
So it isn’t showing up well. Here’s the dilemma. Do I hold off posting it, waiting for that perfect day/weather/time/model/setting/cameraso that I can stage it and stuff it and make it catalog worthy? Or do I accept that that time might never come, seize the moment, and just post it as is, knowing that, as it was a success, pattern wise, I will make more, prettier, soon?
Obviously I have decided to post now, unedited. I hope you, dear random reader, will not think less of me for my realistic posts, but rather be inspired to play around, make mistakes, enjoy the process, and share your unedited moments.

I think this is especially affecting me right now because my wonderful hubs, knowing that I want to sell patterns, eventually, has built me a fancy, reasonably professional website. Once I figure out how to do all the fancy things (and import this blogger site over) I’ll switch over to that one exclusively… The thing is, while I want to present myself professionally, I also want to show my imperfections… I CAN make a perfect quilt/backpack/dress/mens-shirt, but it takes practice and testing etc, and even when things are made perfectly, they don’t always photograph well… So here’s my promise (or my threat, depending on your point of view)… I will “feature” my best work, but always post the random/off/mistakes/tests that are so much a part of creating. 

Am I overthinking? probably. Sorry. But professional craft blogging is so prevalent, I feel that I need to shout : THIS IS MY CRAFT JOURNAL, NOT A CRAFT BLOG or something so that I don’t get judged for the poor photography, lack of freebies, etc.  and so people realize that I am just a mom, trying to make something personal, record it, and perhaps inspire others to do the same.